After 3 years of playing her gay husband in real life the National Enquirer is reporting that Star Jones has cancelled her best girlfriend forever Al Reynolds’ contract. The Enquirer reports,

“They hadn’t been seeing eye to eye for months and had already spent a great deal of time apart” a source revealed to the tabloid “I think Star felt Al had spent their marriage riding her success while she did all the heavy lifting. She resented it. Deep down, Star is a very old-fashioned woman who believes a man should support her emotionally, physically and financially. She now believes Al failed her.” I’m thinking no one failed Star, but Star. I mean really I know she didn’t think Fancy Pants was gonna be the heavy lifter. Anyway Star’s goodbye letter probably went a little something like this:

My Dearest Al,

The time has come for us to say our goodbyes, I realized while you were out getting your bikini wax, that I shouldn’t have hired married you in the first place. Humph…. I guess the truth is I was 450 lbs and lonely, hell I would’ve married a transsexual snowman at that point in my life . But now that I’ve had gastric, been fired again , carrying 30lbs of excess skin around and miserable, I realized I can do bad by my damn self……Why now you ask? It’s simple although I treated you like my Queen you stop treating my like your Star. Things changed when I went back to work we stopped partying, shopping and getting Mani and Pedis together. I would often go out to work and instead of you missing me, I’d return to find you and your “boys” parading around the house in my Payless shoes and making male lingerie out of my fat clothes. Because of you I can’t keep a job and now all my shoes have big bunion prints in them. As far as I’m concerned the only thing left to say is “Get your shit…Get your shit….and Get Out!!!

All my money,

Star

I know I am perpetuating the ridiculousness that is Heidi and Spencer, but I just thought you could all use a good Monday laugh. The couple was photographed admiring themselves at LAX nightclub in Vegas. There are no other two people that I love to hate more. How can they look at themselves in the mirror and keep a straight face? They’re such a joke, and so desperate for attention, it’s unbelievable. I think they should be studied by scientists.